17 in 17 - Podcasts

“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.” 
― Susan Cain

teton view

Some of the questions I get asked the most are: how do you handle long road trips alone? Aren't you bored? What do you listen to? And, while I'm honestly perfectly happy sometimes to listen to the same 4 songs for 7 hours straight (what? I like what I like) -- more often than not I will listen to tons of podcasts. They make the time fly, and I get to learn something new. Win win. 

I've written about my favorite podcasts before, but thought an update was in order (there are SO MANY podcasts now) So whether you are driving, flying, or just listening in the shower, here are 17 of my favorite podcasts of 2017: 

1. Bitch Sesh

bitch sesh

Maybe I should be embarrassed that this is my can’t miss weekly podcast? Nah :) Casey Wilson (of snl, Happy Endings etc) and Danielle Schneider discuss all things Real Housewives each week. They (and their guests) are hilarious, and give me another reason (as if I needed one) to watch some trashy Bravo shows. 

2. The Limit Does Not Exist

the limit does not exist

This is a podcast centering around the intersections of STEM and art — right up my alley. They interview innovative creatives each episode, and offer really interesting insights on being a multi-hyphenate or “human venn diagram”. 

3. Dirty John

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This is the perfect road trip podcast. Like Serial, it presents a true crime (ish) saga through several episodes. I listened while driving from Colorado to Vegas, and it made the trip super enjoyable. 

4. Goal Digger

goal digger

This is a podcast that may seem cheesy to most people (and some of it is) — but it’s definitely helped to motivate me into a different direction creatively. Host Jenna Kutcher is super likable, and has some great guests that I admire (like Lara Casey) in the archives that I would recommend listening to if you are in any way interested in creative entrepreneurship. 

5. Dear Sugars

dear sugars

This is an old favorite, but with good reason. Hosted by my idol Cheryl Strayed (along with Steve Almond — both former Dear Sugar columnists on The Rumpus) — each episode presents letters from listeners and then the hosts gives them advice/talk to authors about their situation. If you liked Tiny Beautiful Things (and who didn’t) give it a shot!

6. Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations

oprahs supersoul

Duh. Oprah. But really, she has some great interviews in the archives. I recommend Brene Brown (obviously), Sebastian Junger, Glennon Doyle Melton, as well as basically all the other episodes. :) 

7. Women on the Road

women on the road

I was on this podcast! Reason enough! (haha episode 4 for like 5 seconds :)) The other 99.9% of this podcast is also super inspiring — hosted by my amazing internet friend Laura Hughes, it profiles Women on the Road (duh). I love them all (seriously)

8. She Explores 

she explores

I’ve been listening to this podcast since the very first episode — and it is so very me. Each episode centers around a theme or an interview with a woman who is in the outdoors in some capacity. There are 50 episodes currently and you really can’t go wrong with any of them. 

9. Girl Boss Radio

girl boss radio

This is one that I don’t listen to weekly (if that is even when they are released?), but that I have found some good content on. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I really like Sophia Amoruso (host, founder of Nasty Gal, author of Girl Boss, etc..) and she interviews other entrepreneurial women who are, like her, kind of controversial/not universally loved. If anything it’s interesting and will give you something to think about. 

10. Embedded

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This is another fav I’ve written about before. It’s popular so you may have already listened, but if not, I’d recommend going back to season 1 to listen to “The House”, “We Found Joy” and “The School”. 

11. Slate Political Gabfest

slate political gabfest

When I’m feeling like I need an extra dose of politics or debate, I listen to this weekly podcast. It can be a little grating at times, but I do generally enjoy the perspectives and feel like I come away with a better understanding of current events than I do from many other information sources.

12. Radiolab

radiolab

This is another super classic podcast I’m sure most of us have listened to, but I couldn’t make a podcast list without it. It’s science, philosophy, sound, storytelling — everything really. The longer ones are my favorite, but try any!

13. Pantsuit Politics

pantsuit politics

I’ve been listening to this podcast since the very beginning, and I still really enjoy the interaction between the two hosts — friends from Kentucky who are on different sides of the political spectrum. They have a balanced and nuanced approach to their debates, and bring an interesting perspective to things that are happening in the news. 

14. Invisibilia

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One of my favorites for the last few years, Invisibilia (Latin for invisible things) uses storytelling and science to explain how the invisible forces around us shape who we are. I’m not eloquent enough to expound, but if that sounds interesting (and how could it not), then try it out. 

15. The Dirtbag Diaries

dirtbag diaries

This is the ultimate in outdoor podcasts. It has been around for something like 10 years, and it shows in the storytelling. There are so many great episodes I don’t even know where to start. So just start. 

16. The Tim Ferriss Show

tim ferriss

Another polarizing figure — Tim Ferriss (of The 4-Hour Workweek) interviews inspirational people from all walks of life. I really like any podcast set up in this format as long as the interviewer is entertaining and knowledgeable — and I think Ferriss is. There are tons of episodes so scroll through the archives and find a guest that you like — there are sure to be many. 

17. Joe Rogan Experience

joe rogan

I dated a guy earlier this year who told me about this podcast. I listened so we would have something to talk about (we needed it haha) but it ended up being a good move. I had seen it before (it’s always in the top charts on itunes) but really had no idea what it was and only knew Joe Rogan from Fear Factor. Again, I don’t listen to every episode of this one, but I have found some good interviews that work really well for road trips — they’re like three hours long! Like the Tim Ferris Show, find someone interesting in the archives and give it a shot. 

 

Happy listening!

11 Lessons My Yoga Teacher Taught Me

"Yoga is not about touching your toes, it's about what you learn on the way down."

- Judith Hanson Lasater

dancers pose

I’ve been practicing yoga for a few years now, but only seriously for about a year. I go to four or five classes per week, and it’s amazing how much my body has changed, my mind has changed, and yada yada all that hippie dippie stuff you’ve heard before. One of the things I love most about my yoga practice is the teachers. The wisdom they are able to impart during a 60 or 90 minute sweat session is impressive. Here are 11 of the life lessons (in no particular order) that I frequently come back to outside of class. What yogi wisdom resonates most with you?

1. “Every day is different”

Yoga teachers often say during poses that one side may feel different than the other, or that one position may feel different than the day before — or even just 10 minutes prior in class — and that's okay. Our bodies change, and they feel different sometimes. My toe stand on the left is way better than the one on the right, and that's okay. 

Like everyone, I relate to this on so many levels. Sometimes I crush a 90 minute hot yoga class and the next day have to lay down and take a break in a beginners class. Every day is different. At work, one day I’ll teach my best lessons, feel on top of the world, and have no behavior problems, then the next will be an absolute disaster. Every day is different. One day I can be super positive, productive, and happy with myself, then the next I just want to eat Nutella from the jar and watch episodes of Lockup.

Every day is different. And that's okay. 

wheel pose

2. “Thank yourself for showing up”

I’ve always kind of hated the phrase, “90% of success is showing up”. Showing up to work is cool and all, but, um, then you have to actually work. Showing up to yoga class is great and all, but then I actually have to work my tail off and sweat my brains out. But in my cynicism I think I missed the beauty of this phrase for a long time. 

It's more than just showing up. “Thank yourself for showing up on your mat today”, “thank yourself for giving yourself this hour”, “thank yourself for taking the time to care for your mind and body” — basically, give yourself some credit. Self-care is so important, but so many people don’t prioritize it. It feels selfish to spend time doing something fully for yourself. 

Taking care of yourself, through yoga or anything else, is essential. It’s self-preservation. Capacity building. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you bring your best self to anyone else?

Show up for yourself. 

yoga joshua tree

3. “There's no prize for straight legs”

One of my hot yoga teachers always says this during padahastasana (hands to feet pose). To just grab onto whatever is available to you, and don’t be afraid to bend your legs as much as you need. Of course, later she will mention that you may want to work on straightening your legs, but it’s okay if they never are. There’s no prize. It’s you against you. 

I think about this a lot in life. There is no prize for ______. I can be as driven as I want to be, but if I want to accomplish something, it’s just me against me. It doesn't matter if the person next to me has amazing form, it's me against me. There is no prize

Everyone has their strengths. The poses in life they execute (seemingly) perfectly. But this doesn't make anything I do better or worse. It just is. My prizes in life are won by me in the battle only against me. When I meet the goals I've set. For myself and no one else.

There's no prize. 

dog yoga

4. “Fully surrender”

Savasana (corpse pose) is often said to be the “hardest pose in yoga” — because you must fully surrender. If you’re not a yoga enthusiast, the pose is literally just laying on your back, arms by your sides, with all muscles relaxed. Legs splay to the sides, tongue relaxes from the roof of your mouth — you are consciously doing absolutely nothing. 

It’s no surprise that this is a difficult pose. Letting go of control is, for many people — myself included — the hardest thing to do. It means being vulnerable, and who the heck wants to do that?? But it’s so important. I have made a conscious effort to surrender in some areas of my life in the last few years and it is excruciatingly hard. To just let things be. To stop fighting. Stop trying to force things. To let things happen rather than make them happen. 

Yoga has helped me with this, in class, and in life. Feeling vulnerability is scary, but think of how much better you feel when you allow things to happen. When you aren’t so attached to one outcome that you pass by others that are more suited for you. 

Let it be. Surrender. 

yoga boat dock boat pose

5. "Take up space”

One of the things I resonated with the most when I started practicing yoga was the idea of “taking up space”. This is something often said during savasana (see above) as a way to fully let go. 

As a woman especially, we may feel the need to take up less space. To make ourselves small. To go about our lives in a way that doesn’t “rock the boat”. I read something recently that said that it’s not even so much that women are afraid of being seen, but that we are afraid of being seen doing the wrong thing. 

I can only speak for me, but I’m sure this is true for all genders — we’d sometimes rather make ourselves small than stand out and open up ourselves to the possibility of ridicule. Of criticism. Of “doing the wrong thing”

But y’all, if you aren’t ruffling a few feathers, you’re not doing anything important.

Don’t be afraid to take up some space. 

joshua tree dancers pose

6. “Go to your edge”

When we get into a difficult pose in yoga, the teachers will sometimes say to “go to your edge” or “find your edge and sit one inch lower”. The idea is to find the spot where you are challenged (without strain) and breathe into it. Sink into the challenge or discomfort. 

The edge between easy and strain is challenge. I’ve written about this before, but I really believe that the only way to go through life is to experience challenge. Lots of challenges. By choice. To make yourself stronger and more resilient. 

We all see those people who say they go to the gym all the time but never seem to have any results. They half-ass everything, skip what they don’t like, take breaks, never sweat, whatever. They “go to the gym” but are they actually working out? I don't want to judge anyone, but it doesn’t seem like it.

In life this works the same way. There are people who are in the exact same place they were in ten years ago. Who complain about their situation, but don’t do anything to change it. In an effort to stay in a position of safety, they aren’t going to their edge. 

Go to your edge. Then sit a little lower.

yoga red rocks

7. “Look in the mirror - make adjustments”

If you haven’t spent a lot of time in yoga classes, it may seem like each class is just the same poses over and over. And, well, in a lot of classes they are -- but once you practice for a while you realize the intricacies of each pose. The way that micro movements change the entire posture. The teacher will encourage you to use the mirror to square your shoulders, move your knee an extra inch, or straighten your leg in a way that is almost invisible. But once you make the adjustment, you see a huge difference!

Life is the same way, right? We've all heard, "small things make a big difference" -- and it's true. You might remember my bed making obsession? It's a small thing, but it has definitely changed my life. Don't think that you have to do something grand to change your life. To give it purpose or joy. Small adjustments make a big difference. 

Look in the mirror at your life. Make small adjustments. 

yoga brainard

8. “Find a point of focus”

During balancing postures, yoga teachers will tell you to “find a point of focus” that will help you to balance. Drishdi is the official yogi term for this focused gaze. It’s a way to develop concentrated attention, and is the key to balancing. 

In life, this is obvious. You have to have a point of focus. If you are scattered and overwhelmed, your life is not in balance and you will fall. Finding concentrated attention on a point enables you to follow through, be successful, and find balance.

Now, that’s not to say you can only have one thing to focus on in life -- just only have one at a time. Multitasking is a lie. Our brains can only deeply focus on one thing at a time. Flow occurs when we are deeply focused on this ONE thing. If I look over at my neighbor in yoga during a balancing posture, I’m likely to fall out of it. In the same way, if we lose our singular focus on another task or another person, we are likely to lose the momentum and motivation to complete it in the best way.

Find your drishdi.

goat yoga


9. “Feel the sensation”

During uncomfortable poses, my yoga instructor will often say to “feel the sensation, and breathe into it” or “feel the sensation, but don’t come out early”“sink into it”. When I first heard it, I was a little cynical — sensation as just another word for discomfort. Through more practice, the more I gave in to it, and the more I have realized — discomfort is just a sensation. A sensation isn't necessarily good or bad. It just is. 

Often, when we feel something different, we immediately recoil. We think this is a feeling unlike what I’ve felt in the past, so it must be bad. It takes a lot of courage to just feel it. To sink in to the sensation and not try to come out. 

Feel the sensation. Sink in.

red rocks yoga 2

10. “Set an intention”

I go to a studio that is part of a nationwide chain and probably a little less traditional than most, but many teachers still take time in the beginning of class to encourage the setting of an intention. Something that you can come back to during class. A purpose

I spend a lot of time thinking about purpose and intent. (Intention was actually my word of the year last year). It's so important and yet so easily pushed aside. You can go through a day, month, or even years on autopilot — looking back later and wondering where the time went. If you live intentionally you are creating the map -- of where you want to be, how you want to feel, and the way you want your life to play out. 

While you can’t control your world (and shouldn’t, umm read 4), you can use your core values to create an intentional map. I can do things to move myself in the direction I want to be. I can set an intention and work towards it. 

Be intentional.

11. “Breathe”

Duh. 

Yoga, at it’s core, is about breathing. Always come back to your breath. Flow with your breath. Use your breath to cool off, to warm up, to relax, to focus — to do everything. I mean, it is what keeps us alive. 

In life, don’t forget to breathe. To calm down. To practice mindfulness. To, you know, live. To quote the tattoo of every 20-something girl you know: just breathe. Really. 

Just breathe.

10 Denver Day Hikes

“Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.” ― John Muir

denver day hike

Somehow we are already in the second week of July (whaaaat? How did this happen?) I travel a lot in the summer, but luckily, living in Denver, even when I'm at home an adventure is only a short drive away. I get asked a lot to recommend day trips and hikes around Denver - so, while I could never make a list of all my favorites, I put together 10 of the (mostly) easy, close hikes around the Denver area that would be perfect for almost anyone. 

Below is a short overview of each hike, necessary info/links, what to do after, and a "water bottle score" - how difficult the hiking is on a scale of 0 (not really even a hike) to 5 (climbing a 14er) for a visitor. I've started with the hikes closest to Denver and ended with those the farthest. You need a car for all of these except in Boulder where you can take the bus from Denver. 

General tips for all of these hikes: try to go on a weekday! Colorado people stereotypes are true - they love to hike - and the weekends are insane pretty much everywhere. If you must go on a weekend, at least go early! This will also help with sunburn, fatigue etc that you may not expect if you aren't used to the elevation. 

If you go on any of these hikes, or have other questions, let me know! Enjoy :)

Lair O' The Bear - Morrison, CO - 22 miles from Denver

Headed to Red Rocks for a show or a hike? Keep going a few miles west on Highway 74 to Lair O' The Bear park. This is a relatively small, family friendly hiking spot right off the road. There are trails, a river, and picnic tables a-plenty. Trails are open for biking and the creek is popular for fishing. 

This is a great place for families, those who are not used to the elevation, or anyone who wants a quick getaway from Denver. 

Water bottle Score: 1/5

After: go back to Morrison, visit the quaint downtown shops, and eat at Twin Forks or the Morrison Inn. 

Site and trail map here.

Mt. Falcon - Indian Hills, CO - 25 miles from Denver

Once you've enjoyed your afternoon in Morrison, don't be confused by the signs for Mt. Falcon Park there. There are two ways to enter this park, and that is not the one you want. Just trust me here. Head to the West trailhead in Indian Hills (From U.S. Highway 285, take the Indian Hills turn-off, follow Parmalee Gulch Road for 5 miles to Picutis Road, then straight ahead to Mount Falcon Road). 

This park is one of my favorites for painting, reading, taking visitors, and even hiking (ha). It has trails for hiking, biking, and horseback riding. There are tons of picnic areas, remains of an old castle, a lookout tower with amazing panoramic views, and a picnic shelter that used to be the summer home of John Brisben Walker

Water bottle score: 2/5

After: Head down to Mac Nation for lunch and then a stroll through the Mirada Gallery (both on Parmalee Gulch Road - can't miss them)

Site and trail maps here.

Chautauqua Park - Boulder, CO - 28 miles from Denver

There are tons of hiking trails in Boulder, but this is a great place to start. The Boulder Chautauqua is the only remaining Chautauqua in operation west of the Mississippi - regularly hosting performances, lectures, and events. Check out the ranger station when you arrive then start hiking! 

My favorite trail is accessed from behind the dining hall - I start on the Mesa trail, climb up McClintock, up a secret trail (can't reveal everything!) then head back down towards Bluebell Mesa, sometimes heading over to Baird, Ski Jump, or Amphitheater Trail before heading back down the Chautauqua trail. (map)

You can't go wrong here. All the trails are well marked (except to my secret spot :)), generally well trafficked, and generally loop into another trail. Just start walking and you'll find great things. 

If possible, like most of the trails on this list, go early on a weekday. - it gets super crowded. If you can't get here on a weekday, there are shuttles on weekends or paid parking (free on weekdays). 

Water bottle score: 2.5/5

After: eat lunch or happy hour at the Chautauqua Dining Hall (try the Big Country Salad and the cilantro jalapeno margarita) and/or make a quick stop at the general store (open in the summer months) for some ice cream (or picnic foods and a strawberry lemonade)

Site with much more info here.

Echo Lake - Evergreen, CO - 45 miles from Denver

If you want to get out of the foothills and into some higher, cooler, mountain air - head west on I-70 to Echo Lake. It's been my favorite spot since I moved here (and I wrote a whole post about it here) to get away. 

To get there, take the Mt. Evans exit off of I-70, turn left and follow the road about 13 miles to the lodge - stop at the two lots on the way up to see a waterfall and a great view of Mt. Evans. Once you get to the parking lot, the views are immediate. You can picnic, fish, or just walk the short trail around the lake, or catch the Chicago Lakes trail out farther into the Mt. Evans Wilderness. 

Water bottle score: 0/5 for the lake 3.5/5 for Chicago Lakes trail

After: Check out the Echo Lake Lodge for souvenirs, great food, and a great bar view. Then if you're risky, take the Mt. Evans road all the way up to the Summit (in the summer only) - it's the highest paved road in North America!

Site and trail map here

St. Mary's Glacier - Idaho Springs, CO - 45 miles from Denver 

After you come down the mountain from Echo Lake, go West on I-70 to the St. Mary's exit (a mile or two). Follow it up until you reach the parking lot (map) This is on private land so you MUST pay a $5 parking fee -- bring cash there is nowhere to get any. The trail is super short, about 1.5 miles round trip, but steep and rocky so if you aren't used to the high elevation it could take some time to get up. As you near the top there are several trails but they'll all get you to the lake. There you will find a beautiful view of the Rockies, a glacier, a lake, and plenty of room to relax or picnic (or just watch people snowboard down the glacier). 

This is a great short hike for visitors or families as long as you are in moderate shape. It's also a great way to beat the summer heat. 

Water bottle score: 2.5/5

After: head down to Idaho Springs and explore the downtown, soak in Indian Hot Springs, or visit the Argo mine. Drink at Westbound and Down, eat at Da Rivuh, and shop at The Soap Shop. 

Herman Gulch - near Idaho Springs, CO - 54 miles from Denver

I try to get to the Herman Gulch Trail a few times a season. It's a fairly easy 7ish mile out and back trail right off of I-70. Like literally right off - it has it's own exit! Exit 218 if you'd like to try it for yourself. It's unmarked, so you just turn left and voila, the parking lot and trail! So easy! The trail is a part of the Continental Divide Trail - a 3,100 mile trail that crosses from Mexico all the way to Canada. 

Interesting fact: only about 200 hikers attempt to thru hike the Continental Divide Trail each year - and it takes about six months to complete! The other two "Triple Crowns" of long-distance hiking: The Appalachian Trail (2,184ish miles) and The Pacific Crest Trail (2,654 miles) have thousands who attempt a thru hike each year, but much much less who actually complete it.

Back to my (much shorter) hike. The Herman Gulch trail starts out fairly steep through the trees until you come to a beautiful meadow with wildflowers when in season. The hike continues through the meadow and a few shady areas (wear sunscreen!) until the final ascent to the Herman Gulch Lake. 

This hike is good for everyone! The elevation gain can be tricky if you are from out of town or not active, but with plenty of water and breaks you should be fine. The actual trail is not difficult or technical.

Water bottle score: 3/5

After: go back East to Silver Plume and visit Bread bar (on weekends) or on to Georgetown to walk the quaint downtown, or drive up Guanella Pass. 

Site and trail map here

Brainard Lake Recreation Area - Ward, CO - 57 miles from Denver

Way up in the mountains of Ward, Colorado, you will find one of the most beautiful places - not just around Denver - but around anywhere. Brainard Lake is part of the Forest Service (so you can use your America The Beautiful pass to get in without the $10 fee), and is near the Indian Peaks Wilderness area. There are lakes, camping, picnic areas, you name it. All of the recreation area is above 10,000 feet, so you can only access from around late June to October. 

Brainard Lake and Long Lake are easy to get to, while my other favorite hike - Mitchell Lake to Blue Lake is a bit longer. The hikes are so beautiful, with many alpine lakes on the way. Find more information about the trails here. 

Water bottle score: 3/5

After: head to Nederland and visit the Carousel of Happiness, then over to Salto Coffee Works

Mt. Bierstadt - near Georgetown, CO - 60 miles from Denver 

I've climbed two 14ers (all on my own woo!), since moving to Colorado. Mt. Bierstadt was the first - chosen because it is generally seen as an "easy" 14er. Now, for those of you who probably don't live in Colorado, a 14er is a mountain that is over 14,000 feet in elevation. There are 96 in the United States, with a whopping 53 in Colorado. So even an "easy 14er" is not so easy. 

That said, if you are acclimated to the altitude, and in decent shape, this is a great trail to start bagging peaks. It is only about 7 miles, with an elevation gain of 2,850 feet. The top is a bit of a rock scramble but totally doable even for the scaredy cats like me. 

14er tips: Start early! Thunderstorms kick up over the mountains almost every afternoon in the summer, and they can be (and are) deadly when you are above the tree line. Also, these trails are super busy so starting early gives you a head start (and parking space) over the masses. Wear layers - it's cold, hot, windy -- be prepared for it all. Bring lots of water! You will need it. Pay attention to the weather, and don't be afraid to take lots of breaks. Remember trail etiquette and if you start to feel weird - go back down! Altitude sickness is real and it is torture (and happens to even the fittest people). 

To get there, follow Guanella Pass from downtown Georgetown about 12 miles to the top. You will see the parking lots and millions of Subarus. 

Water bottle score: 4.8/5

After: head back down to Georgetown and ride the historic Loop Railroad. Visit the Rock Shop, and eat at The Alpine.

More information here

Emerald Lake - Rocky Mountain National Park - 64 miles from Denver

Many of the trails on this list are fairly popular, but this might be the most popular of them all. With good reason. Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park are an easy day trip from Denver, and if you only have time for a hike or two, this one packs a punch. 

Enter RMNP, then either head up to the Bear Lake lot (if it's early on a weekday) or park in the park and ride and catch a shuttle to Bear Lake (recommend this). Bear Lake is one of the most popular lakes in the park, with an easy and accessible trail around it. If you decide to go on, you will walk about 3.5 miles and see four amazing alpine lakes. 

Again, this trail is very popular, but I still recommend it if you're in the park. If you want more of a workout, head down towards Glacier Gorge when you reach Bear Lake on the way down and catch the shuttle from there. 

Water bottle score: 3/5

After: explore the park! Then head in to Estes Park to walk the town, visit The Stanley Hotel and drink at Rock Cut Brewing. 

More info here

Manitou Incline - Manitou Springs, CO - 70 miles from Denver

If you're an extremist, or find yourself near Colorado Springs, you might want to hike the Manitou Incline. I wrote more about my experience here, but basically, it's this super steep former cable car route turned stairway. It gains over 2,000 feet in elevation in just under a mile and it's intense to say the least! Some parts have a grade of up to 68% (look at the picture above for some perspective). 

If you're still interested, remember that because this is so steep, once you start - you have to continue. There is a bail out, but it isn't until about 2/3 up the trail. To get down you follow the Barr Trail back to where you began. 

Water Bottle Score: 4.75/5

After: Explore Manitou Springs and stop by the The Mate Factor, then head over to Garden of the Gods for some much easier hikes, followed by dinner in Old Colorado City

Site and more info here. Download the app here

 

Now get out there! And let me know if you want more recommendations, or other information :) 

9 Things Not To Say

“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.” 
― Steve Martin

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1. “Don't say _____”

I was recently with some friends shooting the you know what, and was surprised to be interrupted by someone who said I should “choose a different word” for the way I was describing something. I chose another word (that meant the same thing as the original word, but I digress) then spent the rest of the dinner sort of uncomfortable/taken aback/annoyed. I mean, I can say whatever I want. I can use whatever words I want. Right? 

As a general rule, you shouldn’t tell people what to say/not say (definitely not 9 things they shouldn't say eeek). I get it. BUT, I’ve been thinking a lot about words. You’ve heard it since you were in kindergarten — words hurt. Words matter. So it’s important to be careful with their use. To think about how they make people feel. And while I’m not actually super calculated in my wording, and have said all of the things on this list — I understand that mental shifts are important — metacognition, all that mumbo jumbo. 

So while I still don’t think you should actually verbally interrupt anyone to tell them what not to say — I do think it’s important to personally be aware of subtle differences in language. What we might be saying without realizing it.

Disclaimer: life is complicated, we are complicated, situations are complicated. Sometimes these things make a lot of sense and are the right thing to say. So say whatever you want to say — just think about it first. Like, always. In everything. :) 

2. “I can’t…”

Can I go to the bathroom?” “I don’t know, can you?” I’m sure we’ve all heard this from a teacher, parent, or friend who thinks they’re real slick. But it’s a great lesson to learn — can/can’t are such disempowering words. Of course, there are things we literally can’t do (become a unicorn, teleport) but in terms of the normal, everyday asks — guess what? You can. 

When I was younger, I remember my dad asked me and my sister what “we had to do” in life. “Make the bed, eat dinner, go to school..” we rattled off all the things we thought we had to do. Surprisingly, he kept responding with, "nope, you don’t have to." Moral of the story — the only thing you have to do is die. Whoa. Heavy for children, but obviously memorable. And true! You can do whatever you want — if it’s a priority. 

When someone says they can’t do something, they're just saying it isn’t a priority. And that’s okay! “I can’t” is a self-imposed restriction. It undermines your own power and agency. A better response is “I don’t”. “I don’t” is a choice. It’s empowering. “I don’t ride rollercoasters” I CAN, but I don’t want to. Or maybe it’s just “I can’t right now” or “I can’t in this moment” and that’s okay. But you can. Big difference. 

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3. “I’m sorry..”

Pay attention to how many times you say sorry in a day. When you’ve done nothing wrong. Or even done anything at all. You might be surprised (especially if you’re a woman). Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be sorry for anything — if you do something wrong, absolutely apologize. The problem is saying sorry as a filler word.

There’s been a lot written about the gendered nature of sorry. Women who say sorry for just being. Taking up space. Sorry I opened the door when you were coming in, sorry I am using the copy machine and you need to, sorry I got close to brushing against you but didn’t actually, sorry I don’t want to buy your whatever, sorry I have plans tonight… you get it. But why are you sorry? Just say no if you can’t do something. No explanation necessary. 

Sorry is a word we say when we feel the need to say something — even when we know it doesn’t make sense. If you feel like you’re in someone’s way, just say “excuse me”. Say thank you. We say sorry because we want to be polite, but it actually gives away our power when there is nothing to be sorry for. I love this idea I’ve seen online to say thank you instead. 

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4. “I’m sorry, but..”

No, you aren’t. If you were sorry there wouldn’t be any buts. The “I’m sorry, but” is just a way to try to make a statement without sounding aggressive. It ends up sounding defensive or unsure which undermines the point you are trying to make. The attempt to be polite is not polite. 

This one is simple: you’re either sorry or you aren’t. The but negates the sorry. 


5. “Everything happens for a reason”

When something bad happens to a friend or family member, it’s hard to know what to say. But the oft used “everything happens for a reason” -- while well-meaning -- undermines that person’s experience. Let me explain. 

Sometimes bad things just happen. To good people. To “bad” people. There is no rhyme or reason. Human existence is random, it’s chaotic, and struggle is inevitable. When someone is going through a traumatic, soul crushing, life changing experience — they don’t want to hear it. Looking for the “reason” something happened to you is a fools errand. An attempt to control your life in a world that can’t be controlled. 

This is a phrase that’s often used in religious circles as a form of comfort, but I’d argue this is not only not comforting, but it’s bad theology. Nowhere in the Bible does it say we are owed a pain-free existence (in fact, it says the opposite). 

The only thing we can control is our response to situations. We can find a reason in hindsight, sure. A meaning, or a truth that will help us to move forward. But that’s much different from the mindset of “this bad thing happened to me because of ______” That’s just not true. 

6. “I know how you feel”

No, you don’t. Again, this is a well meaning phrase. Something you say when you don’t know what else to say. But, again, has the opposite result. You are actually lying when you say this. You can imagine how someone feels. Maybe you went through something similar? But it was still something that happened to you. In your life. So you know how it makes YOU feel. Very different. 

Last fall a lot of crazy things happened to me in the span of a few weeks (I refer to it still as my twilight zone — it was that level of cray) Anyways, part of it was the ending of a relationship. I still talked to that person a lot and they knew I was upset so they tried to pep talk me out of it "I know you feel _____ " they said. Again, super well meaning. The problem was that what they thought was the problem was the least of my problems. My point being: it’s other stuff for everyone. Things they may not want to share with you. Things that are happening at that moment or in their life before that have shaped the way they respond to things. On the surface it may seem like you’ve been in their shoes — but you never truly can be. 

We think we are being empathic and understanding, but don’t confuse empathy with genuine experience and emotions — you will never live someone else’s life. 

This phrase also reeks of one-upmanship. You are essentially making someones experience about you. Shifting the conversation to you and your experience — in effect telling that person that they are not unique, cutting off the conversation completely. 

Just listen. Reverse your initial reaction of “I know how you feel” to “I can’t imagine how I’d feel” or “I hear you” maybe even “I can relate” but you don’t know how they feel. And you never will. 

7. “I’m too busy to ______”

Nope. Busyness is a lie. It’s a humblebrag. It’s an excuse. You can have a lot going on. You can be focused on things in your life — but you aren’t too busy to ______. 

Everyone has priorities. If your priorities take up so much time that you can’t do something else, just say that. “I’m focusing my time on ______.” not “I’m too busy to _______.” If you wanted to do something, you could make the time. If you really couldn’t then your life is not in order. You are in chaos and using busyness as an excuse to fill up your life. 

This article in the Wall Street Journal sums it up well, “Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”

So how do you spend your time? Is it keeping you from your priorities? Are you using busyness as an excuse?

8. “I’m just not a ______ person”

I’m not a math person. I’m not an outdoorsy person. I’m not a crowds person. I’m not a blah blah blah. You know it. You’ve heard it. I’m sure we’ve all said it. And maybe it’s true… sort of. Maybe you don’t like those things, or don’t want to be that type of person, or have believed the lie that you aren’t — but you could be. 

It’s okay if you don’t want to do something — I don’t want to skydive. It’s not that I’m not “the skydiving type of person” I just don’t want to. And that is okay! What’s not okay is doing or not doing something because I’ve bought into some lie of who I am or what my identity is. 

I read the phrase recently that “to become more you, be less you” and it really resonated with me. I’ve written about it before, but I think we often put ourselves into boxes of who we are. Who we aren’t. I’m not the type of person who would _____. But maybe we are. Maybe that label is holding us back?

Just be honest with yourself. It’s okay to say that you just don’t want to do something. Or that you just haven’t learned it yet. But remember that, if you want to, you CAN be that person who ______. Don’t label yourself. 

9. “Don’t be ______”

When we see someone upset, our knee-jerk reaction is to say, “don’t cry”, “don’t be upset”, “don’t _____”. And again, well meaning, but this isn’t helpful. Telling someone one of these variants is basically telling them how to feel. That their emotions are not valid. You are unintentionally trivializing real feelings. 

This isn’t just for the typical sad emotions. You hear a lot these days online from people who think they can tell others how to respond to current events. "Don’t be outraged." "Don’t be offended." "Don’t be a crybaby/snowflake." "There are kids starving and you’re mad about ______?!" 

Have you heard of the “not as bad as” or “relative privation” fallacy? Basically, it’s the fallacy that when you compare something to the best or worst case scenario, your situation is no longer important. “You can’t be sad about ______ because this much sadder thing also exists” “You can’t be outraged about the wage gap when women are being enslaved in other countries” Umm… you can be both. Hello. 

We are free to process emotions and feelings about whatever we want however we want. I mean, isn’t the definition of a sociopath someone who doesn’t? Don’t tell people how to feel, even if you have nothing else to say. Just listen to people. It’s uncomfortable, sure. But we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. 

No, You're Not an Extroverted Introvert

“Why am I as I am? To understand that of any person, his whole life, from birth must be reviewed. All of our experiences fuse into our personality. Everything that ever happened to us is an ingredient.” 
― Malcolm X

If you’ve been on Facebook lately, undoubtedly you’ve seen prolific sharing of articles, photo quotes, and quizzes attempting to define “your true personality.” Extrovert, introvert, and the new “extroverted introvert” seem to be the most common subjects of these listicles. And while I’ll admit that I’ve read a few (several) — I’ve been thinking a lot about what this focus on personality and personality tests really gives us. 

I mean, you know extroverted introvert is an oxymoron right? But you know what else? We are all probably both. (Also, the word is ambivert.. but I digress :)) Two things can be true at the same time, and personality is on a continuum — not a binary. Liking to be a in a group sometimes and then liking to be alone sometimes doesn’t make you anything but a normal person. 

Personality doesn't fit into a neat and tidy list — but my thoughts about them do :) So read this before you put too much credence into the third “What Color Am I?” test you take before you go to bed tonight:

1. Personality Tests Promote a False Binary

Introvert or extrovert. Thinking or feeling. Dominant or compliant. Generally, personality tests present two choices — you are either one or the other. And while many of the tests may show a continuum of sorts — you are still dominantly _____. Based on some questions you mindlessly scrolled through for thirty minutes. And these binaries are very different!

For example, I have always been an E on the Myers-Briggs (extraversion). On the long report I got (after taking a paid version for a professional development class), it showed that it was only just barely trending towards the E — almost exactly in the middle — but from then on I was defined as an extrovert. (funny if you know me, right?) Anyways, Carl Jung himself -- on whose theories this test was based -- didn’t agree with this binary. He wrote that people tend to favor one over the other, but not that they necessarily are one or the other. 

Whether you’ve taken a test or not, we all have likely identified at some point with one of the types. And there are some people who are probably textbook versions of one or the other 99% of the time — but I’d say that the majority of us are not. I hear people say a lot “I'm actually an extrovert” or “I’m actually more of an introvert” in a situation where they seem to be the opposite — how about, “I am a normal person who shows up in different ways at different times based on a myriad of things”? How about not feeling the need to explain at all? You aren’t one way all of the time, and if we expect each other to be that is our problem. 

For example, last week when I was in New Mexico I went to a hot springs and got an hour in a private, riverside pool. It was beautiful on its own, but I wanted a subject in the photos so I took a causal pool loungin' photo before I fully immersed myself in the hot water. I love to share (duh) so I went to put it on instagram that night -- and hesitated. I text my sister and asked "Am I the type of person who would do this?" but also thought, "I don't want people to think I am __________ because I put a picture of myself in a bikini on the internet" This is a (silly, but real) example of the false binary. I can be the type of person who does whatever I want to do. If I do something, I am the type of person who does that thing. It doesn't matter if it's unexpected.

2. Inherent Problems with Personality Tests/Profiles

Of the major “Personality Assessments”, the Myers-Briggs is the most popular and widely used, so I’ll talk about it more specifically here. It was developed during World War Two by two housewives (not a criticism, but also not scientists) who were interested in Jung and wanted to develop a system to help women find jobs suited for them. Now it is used in hiring and professional development, as well as personal development (and memes). It’s seen in pop culture as a scientific test while psychologists have generally rejected it entirely. 

So what’s the problem? 

From a methods perspective — a lot. The test derives a lot of information from a small amount of not necessarily scientifically based questions. Depending on the reason for the test (jobs, personal etc), you may skew your answers without even realizing it (answering how you think someone in that job would). Even if you’re just taking a random Buzzfeed version, we answer based on how we would like to be. “I think I am a person who ______” But is this accurate? 

And like I mentioned before, there are excessive binary choices. This is a logical fallacy. Two things can be true at the same time. I might feel one way when I answer a question on a personality test and then completely different a few days later.

Have you heard of the “Forer” effect (or Barnum effect/acceptance phenomenon)? It’s basically the tendency for people to accept things that are vague or general as being true if they think they were specifically for them. Bertram Forer identified this effect when he gave his psychology students a personality assessment and then an analysis that was supposed to be totally personalized to them. Of course, they were actually all the same report. He found that 85% of the students thought it described them accurately before they knew of the ruse. 

Surprising? Not really. It’s the same effect that drives interest in horoscopes and the personality lists you see online. The indicators are just vague enough that almost anyone (because we are humans on a continuum and our feelings change) can relate. Likes being around people sometimes. Yep, that’s me. Likes to be alone sometimes. Oh wow, so accurate. Umm… 

3. You Don’t Need to Fit in a List/Profile/Personality Report

It’s not all hogwash. I do think that some of the more specific things I’ve read about ENTP’s are really accurate to my general “state of being”. ENTP’s are supposedly really great at starting projects and not so great at finishing them. This is me (but maybe it’s a lot of people). The problem with this distinction, even if it seems accurate, is that I might start to define myself as just “someone who doesn’t finish things” — then use it as an excuse. 

I think it’s human nature to want to find an excuse for our behaviors that aren’t so great. “I’m just this type of person”, “It’s who I am”, “I was born this way”. They’re all excuses. If I have a problem finishing things, and am aware of it, guess what: I can just make myself finish things. It’s not rocket science. So that’s where an occasional personality assessment can be beneficial. Maybe you didn’t realize something negative about yourself, but reading it and looking back you see it in your life. Cool — but don’t use it as an excuse. Make the leap from understanding to DOING. Don’t live in a definition of some sort of simplistic “type of person.” 

Also, why are you listening to some random person on the internet (oh, hi) tell you who you are anyways? If a friend at happy hour started saying “based on your reactions to a few things I've seen in your life, this is how you respond to struggles… “ wouldn’t you be just a little (a lot) annoyed? What do they know? I’m unique, damnit! But really, we are. I may respond to things in a similar way most of the time -- but not all the time. And maybe I only respond in that way because I know it's expected? Hmm...

4. What’s Wrong With Being Complicated? 

Personality types are all about absolutes. A quick search of “Personality Tests” comes up with a plethora of articles using them. “18 Struggles ALL ______ experience.” “13 things ALL _____ know” “10 things you’ll ALWAYS catch ______ doing.” The problem with absolutes should be obvious, but no one is ALWAYS anything. The world can’t actually be categorized into 16 tidy boxes where everyone inside is the same. I mean how boring would that be?

And what’s so wrong with being complicated? Complicated is just defined as, "consisting of many interconnecting parts or elements; intricate" -- sounds like a good thing to me. I think that’s really the core of my problem with this personality obsession — I’m not always anything. I’m always changing and I have many parts of my personality. Sometimes I am adventurous and outgoing, sometimes I am quiet and boring. Sometimes I finish projects, sometimes I don’t. And sometimes that ENTP definition is spot on — but I can’t use it as a crutch. 

I think I’ve tried for a long time to fit into a role that’s easy to understand. Simple. But if anything it’s backfired. Simple is easy. Simple is boring. I don’t want to be easy to understand, easy to predict. Sometimes I keep myself from expressing my opinions or doing certain things that I think would be surprising to people (like on first dates yikes) because it feels safe. But remember, simple = boring and studies have actually shown that psychologically, complicated = interesting (and interesting = seductive but that’s another blog post entirely haha) There will always be someone who disagrees or is turned off by your opinions, actions, whatever — but there are always two sides so someone will also agree. If you’re boring that means you’re not producing any reaction — and isn’t that the worst possible way to go through the world?

People love to talk about "the type of person they are". It feels comfortable. Safe. But I’ve always thought that the type of people who say they are the type of people that ________ — really aren’t that type of person. If you have to say it, or read it in a personality profile to believe it, then you might not be that thing. You want to be, sure — but are you really? 

The good news: you can define yourself! You can pay attention to who you actually are, or aren’t. You can change the story, the definition, labels, personality type, whatever. It’s uncomfortable, but sit in the discomfort — that’s where growth happens (so yogi of me but it’s true). People don’t know your backstory. They don't know your Myers-Briggs type, your Enneagram, the color of your aura -- they don’t know the why of who you are -- but they know the how. How you show up. How you act in ______ situations. Focus on those things. The How. 

Personality tests can be fun, I get it. We want to understand ourselves better — but without putting in the effort of actually finding ourselves through, you know, actual experiences. Through paying attention to how we respond to things, how we feel in contrasting situations, what drains our energy, and what puts fire in our soul. 

No, no, I will just take a test and it will tell me how I respond in these situations. No, no, I will read this Buzzfeed article with random cartoons who like to make plans then cancel them and define myself as that. Sounds ridiculous right? But I think we’d be surprised at how much we allow these ridiculous things into our thinking. 

Don’t take the easy way out. It’s boring. And it’s not accurate! Don’t put yourself in a “type” box. Define yourself. Leave room for change. Remember that everyone can be everything all at once and that’s okay. Complicated is a good thing. Learn about yourself through yourself — not the internet. Believing a simplistic definition of yourself will cause you to become the label. You will simplify yourself and in turn make yourself small. We aren't meant to be small - we are meant to be big, interesting, and yes - complicated. 

Solo Travel - Part 2 - Safety

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” 
― Marie Curie

A few years ago I was driving through the middle of nowhere Midwest and decided to stop at a tiny town off the interstate for some dinner (Big Macs duh). I went in to order and when I came back, to my surprise, my car wouldn't start. I was far away from anywhere or anyone I knew and, well, started to panic. I opened the hood of the car thinking that maybe the act of it would bring me some sort of knowledge that I previously did not have - but of course this just compounded my anxiety. 

A man called out behind me from what can only be described as a monster truck "hey, need help?" I could barely squeak out a yes as he got out of his car and I caught a glimpse of his confederate flag tattoo and offensive bumper stickers. I assessed the situation and decided I probably wasn't going to die on a Sunday afternoon in a McDonald’s parking lot so I let him take a look at my car and, again to my surprise, he ended up being the sweetest man I had come in to contact with for weeks. He was on his way to a family barbecue but took over an hour to call his wife to bring him his tools, drove me to the only store open in town to buy a new battery, put it in my car, and then wouldn't even give me his name or let me buy him a Big Mac for a thank you. 

When my car wouldn’t start I had two options: trust a stranger or live the rest of my life in a McDonald’s parking lot - and while I like Big Macs a lot that just wasn't happening. I had to assess the situation and take the steps to mitigate the danger. 

This wasn’t an isolated incident. I've been saved by complete strangers on several occasions. While all these incidents had happy endings - and I'd like to believe people are generally good - there is still always that nagging feeling  in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be trusting a stranger as a single woman traveling alone. 

Safety is a real concern traveling alone. There is safety (at least in our minds) in number and being alone in a new place can be disorienting. A lot of people you meet are in fact good but that doesn't mean you can blindly trust everyone you meet. We must find a middle ground: a healthy fear that keeps us from real danger but doesn’t stop us from taking some risks and having an adventure.  

Let's look at the facts. 

The nightly news and popular media have conditioned women to believe that they are at risk if they walk alone at night, jog alone in the morning, wear a certain outfit, respond and/or not respond to a man in a certain way, go to a “bad” part of town, engage the wrong person in a conversation, drive at night, pull over on the side of the road etc etc I could go on but you get it.

While terrible things do happen to people in those situations – it is the exception, not the norm.

A woman is much more likely to be a victim of violence (assault or rape) by their partner than any stranger (less than 1/3 of rapes are committed by strangers). Rapes occur outdoors in only 3.6% of cases, alcohol is generally involved, 71% of the time by someone you know, and 66% of the time occurs in a home.

So we are actually more likely to be a victim of violence in our everyday activities than alone on the road.

The reality is that driving is the most dangerous part of travel. The highest incidence (by far) of death or injury to travelers is due to auto accidents. After that, tourists generally encounter crimes of opportunity – theft etc,

But I'm afraid.

Fear is a natural emotion. It makes sense to be afraid of something when you don’t know what to expect/haven’t experienced it before. But you can’t let the fear stop you. Real courage is acknowledging fear and continuing. Easier said than done though right?

Here are some things that can help to face fears:

·         Gradual exposure – Identify your fears and then gradually expose yourself to them. If the idea of going on a week long off the grid hike is scary – start with a solo hike on a busy trail for a couple of hours. Work your way up to the thing you are afraid of. Practice is key – the more you expose yourself to the source of your fear the less of a hold it will have on you.

·         Acknowledge and accept – There’s always a point at the beginning of a trip where my mind is working overtime with fear. Did I remember to turn off the oven, did I pack my phone charger, what if the Airbnb is sketchy, what if what if what if. I have learned to acknowledge my fears and then accept that I can’t do anything more. I feel the fear and let it pass. This is a practice of mindfulness. Imagine you are watching cars drive by on a street. You acknowledge they are there and let them pass. Do this with your fear – acknowledge it and let the thoughts pass.

·         Think positively – A generally positive attitude is key. Assume things will go well. Assume it will all work out. Look to the past and remember the times when your fears were unfounded and assume they will be again.

But what if I am in real danger?

It’s important to cultivate your situational awareness, whether you are alone or in a group - traveling or not. Situational awareness is the awareness we have of our surroundings and the forward-thinking necessary to understand what could happen and how you will respond. Again, I see this as a type of mindfulness – but with an action plan.

As a teacher you have to have a certain degree of situational awareness. I was an interviewer for a teaching program once and a core competency was literally titled “with-it-ness” and was based around the interviewee’s ability to have the elusive eyes in the back of their head teacher skill.

Thankfully there are ways to cultivate your with-it-ness.

-       Look in your peripheral vision. Self-explanatory. Look beyond what it right in front of you if you don’t want to be surprised by what might be there.

-       Scan your surroundings. Look for suspicious people and objects. Also make sure you know where the exits are in an unfamiliar place and any barriers that could help or hinder you if you needed to make a quick exit.

-       Don’t turn your back. My first year teaching I turned to write on the board on the first day of school and immediately a student yelled, “never turn your back, that’s how you get shanked!” While (I think) she was trying to make a joke – the sentiment has always stayed with me. If you are eating alone - face the door, if you are on a bus - put your back to the window etc.

-       Be a hard target. You’ll remember that most crimes against travelers are crimes of opportunity – meaning you look like you’re an easy target. Mitigate this by always having a confident attitude, posture, look like you know where you’re going (even if you don’t), and dress a little more badass than you normally do (but appropriately for wherever you are)

Ultimately – just be aware that you need to be aware. Don’t live your life like someone is constantly out to get you – just take the steps to make sure you aren’t an easy target.

How do I trust myself?

Trust your gut. Gut instincts are the sixth sense that we experience when our brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a snap decision unconsciously. Neurotransmitters actually fire in the gut which gives you the feeling of dread or butterflies etc that signals the brain to something that is amiss.

Another way to describe a gut instinct is intuition – and women are hardwired for it. Female brains have stronger intuition naturally because of ability to read facial expressions and pick up on subtleties of emotion more accurately than men. While men and women both have this capacity – science says that women really do have a more natural intuition. (why the CIA says women make better spies)

So if you feel a visceral reaction to a situation – it may be your intuition or gut speaking. Don’t worry if you are just being paranoid – you probably aren’t out anything if you are. If something just doesn’t feel right – don’t do it. You are alone anyways so you have no one to impress.

13 Easy Safety Tips

Whew, that was a lot of information. If you feel overwhelmed, here is a breakdown of 13 easy things you can do to feel safer when you are traveling (or just living) alone:

1. Adventure in the light

I always plan my days so that I am back at my hotel/Airbnb by dark or right after. While this means an early return in the winter, it makes me feel safe to know that I am secure after dark. It also gives you time to relax, plan the next day, and get up with the sunrise.

2. Spend extra where necessary

If a hotel or Airbnb looks like it might be sketchy, just assume that it is and go for the more expensive option. In the grand scheme of things the extra money here and there for peace of mind is worth it.

3.  Plan plan plan!

If feels good to know what you’re doing, when, and how. Read more here.

4. Be careful with drinking

Most violence happens when drinking is involved and it also makes you an easier target. So either abstain, have just one drink with your lunch/dinner, or wait to have that wine until you are safely alone at night.

5.  Bring a whistle, doorstop, and pepper spray

I don’t have a doorstop yet but I plan on getting one for my next jaunt this weekend. Put it under the door from the inside to get some extra peace of mind. I’ve been in some airbnbs that don’t lock well and I know this would just add another layer of security. You can even get cheap doorstops with an alarm that will sound if they are triggered. A whistle is just practical to bring attention to yourself if you need it, and pepper spray more than anything just makes me feel more confident.

6. Stay connected  

Let people know where you are! Share your itineraries, get on social media, text people back for goodness sakes so they don’t worry!

7. Be confident  

...and if you aren’t pretend to be. Get your RBF out and walk with a purpose. Fake it till ya make it.

8. Be aware

Our awareness is actually better when alone without distractions, but make sure you are cognizant of your surroundings

9. Assess and make decisions

Sometimes you have to let a guy in a monster truck help you get out of a McDonald’s parking lot. Use your judgement. Assess the situation and make decisions. You can’t avoid everything.

10. Copies of documents

Scan/take pictures of important documents and credit cards in case you get separated from them (but make sure they are uploaded to some sort of cloud/your email). Also – write down some important phone numbers! If you lose your phone/it breaks you probably won’t remember them.

11. Share location

Let someone know when you should be somewhere if you think you will be off grid. I use the share my location feature on my iphone with at least one person when I’m traveling. If you know you won’t have service let them know that too.

12. Prep your car/rental  

Make sure you have your insurance/roadside assistance information and supplies in case of an emergency (snacks, water, blanket etc)

13. Phone charger and extra battery

Your phone might die quicker while traveling due to use, roaming etc so always have a charger or extra battery on hand

Safety is something we can’t help but pay attention to. Just remember, you’re probably just as safe (or even more) traveling as you are living your life each day. It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let it stop you from living your adventure. The risk is worth the reward. 

 

Check back next week for Part 3 :)